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My Falling Away and Re-awakening
I don't remember when I found my faith as a child. I was a total believer, but didn't have knowledge of most basics of Christianity. Blind love. I didn't care about the details. I had a tense, unhappy violent home life. Knowing I was never alone helped me through that. Very very much.
By late high school my mother divorced my uber-abusive stepfather. I didn't give God & Jesus much thought. In college I met my future husband & although he was raised in the church & all his family were believers, he saw through all that "garbage" & I was happy to follow his lead. Besides, I knew if I refused our physical relationship (sin) I would lose my boyfriend. I didn't want to give it up either so I can't blame him. Anyway, I made a choice. Evolution had been nagging at my mind, so I used the contradiction of that with Genesis to further justify my disbelief. Even after we married I refused to believe. The biggest regret of my life is that I told my young children (age when they believe everything a parent says) that God & Jesus are fairy tales. Now my kids are in their mid 30's and completely cut me off if they have the slightest suspicion that I'll bring it up.
When I was in high school, my Aunt Dodie was reading Hal Lindsey's books on Bible prophecy. I read them when I was visiting but later forgot about them.
Fast forward to being divorced, then remarried. I was listening to talk radio a lot, interested in politics for the 1st time in my life. I listened to Chuck Harder, "For the People". Interesting. He talked about the New world Order, etc. I thought it was wacky until I heard George Bush Sr say New World Order three times in a State of the Union address. That shocked me big time. Shortly after that, Chuck had Hal Lindsey on his show! It was amazing how he was tying things together. He made sense yrs before when I was in High school. In 1991 it was REALLY coming together. I planned right then to look for his books at the library.
Turned out that I didn't have the chance. I went to a yard sale and found a stack of ALL his books. I looked up and told God out loud "I get it!" And I did. I started studying and it all started making sense for the first time in my life. Later, I heard another radio broadcast the knocked my socks off. But that's another story...
By late high school my mother divorced my uber-abusive stepfather. I didn't give God & Jesus much thought. In college I met my future husband & although he was raised in the church & all his family were believers, he saw through all that "garbage" & I was happy to follow his lead. Besides, I knew if I refused our physical relationship (sin) I would lose my boyfriend. I didn't want to give it up either so I can't blame him. Anyway, I made a choice. Evolution had been nagging at my mind, so I used the contradiction of that with Genesis to further justify my disbelief. Even after we married I refused to believe. The biggest regret of my life is that I told my young children (age when they believe everything a parent says) that God & Jesus are fairy tales. Now my kids are in their mid 30's and completely cut me off if they have the slightest suspicion that I'll bring it up.
When I was in high school, my Aunt Dodie was reading Hal Lindsey's books on Bible prophecy. I read them when I was visiting but later forgot about them.
Fast forward to being divorced, then remarried. I was listening to talk radio a lot, interested in politics for the 1st time in my life. I listened to Chuck Harder, "For the People". Interesting. He talked about the New world Order, etc. I thought it was wacky until I heard George Bush Sr say New World Order three times in a State of the Union address. That shocked me big time. Shortly after that, Chuck had Hal Lindsey on his show! It was amazing how he was tying things together. He made sense yrs before when I was in High school. In 1991 it was REALLY coming together. I planned right then to look for his books at the library.
Turned out that I didn't have the chance. I went to a yard sale and found a stack of ALL his books. I looked up and told God out loud "I get it!" And I did. I started studying and it all started making sense for the first time in my life. Later, I heard another radio broadcast the knocked my socks off. But that's another story...
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